Joe Aimonetti
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Pulp Cereal

THIS IS PULP CEREAL

Thanks for showing up. Now, I have to warn you, this isn’t just a bunch of stories. Everything has a place and a purpose. If you look just so, you’ll see it. There are clues everywhere, if we only take the time to let the truth reveal itself.

Here you may read things, or look at things, or watch things, and you may wonder if what you’re seeing is actual. And it is. At least to me. This is the world I see, or at least imagine I’m seeing — honestly, some days I cannot tell. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or confused, or you want to share something you’ve seen, shoot me a message.


Kung-Fu Couriers

Kung-Fu Couriers — Delivering ass-whoopings used on-demand. The world of henching has changed. It used to be a tight-knit, union-style fraternity racket. The things you had to do to get in, you can’t even imagine. And there were limited spots per city. You’d have to apply for a token, pass tests, prove your ability to hench.

Then you’d have to buy in — $10K plus $5K a year. For life. For the ability to hench in the city without getting fined or jail time. If you had your token, you’d made it. You were in. And we had the whole government in our pocket — job security. Life was good. Great even. Until one day some rich kid has a thought that him and his reject rich kid friends want to be able to call up a henchman whenever they want, just hit a button to cover the fact they’d been running their silver spoon-fed mouths too much. Kung-Fu Couriers was born.

At first, none of us paid much attention. We knew we had the commission on our side. Leadership told us to ignore it. But something seemed off. Finally, one night, we get called in to a bar to fill out a massive brawl, and there they are, a few KFCs, taking punches and kicks, swinging and missing at our clients! Needless to say, the lines were blurred that night. The brawl spilled out into the parking lot, the Henchmen Legion vs. the KFCs, clients be damned.

Now, most of these KFC dudes were pretty raw, they barely knew what they were doing — everyone knows what punching and kicking is, but henching is a skill. At some point during our beat down of these clowns, they tapped out, content to admit defeat and lick their wounds. But I had to know more. What’s going on with KFC?

Joe Aimonetti